This is part II in a series written by Dr. Ellis Orozco regarding mental health. See Part I for further reading.
“Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief” (Prov. 14:13).
On April 20, 2022, the day before she was to be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, singer Naomi Judd took her own life. She was 76 years old and left behind a husband, two daughters, and thousands of adoring fans.
Naomi’s daughter, actress Ashley Judd, talked about her mother’s death in an emotional interview with Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America.
“Our mother couldn’t hang on until she was inducted into the Hall of Fame by her peers,” Ashley told Sawyer. “That is the level of catastrophe of what was going on inside of her, because the barrier between the regard in which they held her couldn’t penetrate into her heart, and the lie that the disease told her was so convincing.”
The false narrative the disease feeds the brain is powerful and deadly. Unfortunately, it’s a narrative that religion sometimes echoes.
No matter how forcefully we preach grace, love and forgiveness, a salvation-by-works mentality has an insidious way of working its way into our theology.
People find it difficult to fully embrace the idea of the Gospel message – that although we are all equally unworthy of God’s love, each of our lives is of immeasurable value to God. The power of that message is that nothing can ever change it.
As the Apostle Paul wrote: “And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen?” (Rom. 8:33, The Message).
He goes on to explain what God’s love does for us.
“Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us – who was raised to life for us! – is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing” (Rom. 8:34-35) … not even suicide.
Paul then reveals the reason for his confidence.
“None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing – nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable – absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us” (Rom. 36-38, The Message).
Jesus died for us because he believed we were worth it.
Mental illness doesn’t change that. Suicide doesn’t change that. Nothing will ever change that.
What is Mental Health?
“Jesus asked the boy’s father, ‘How long has he been like this?’ ‘From childhood,’ he answered. ‘It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us’” (Mark 9:21-22).
Mental health has been described as a person’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It is all about how we think, feel, and act. It tends to determine how we handle stress, relationships, and how we make choices.
Many factors can contribute to mental health problems, including: Biological factors, such as brain chemistry, life experiences, such as trauma or abuse, and family history of mental health problems.
Mental health is determined by both the personal and social. Healing sometimes requires professional care and the best that scientific medicine has to offer. However, the indispensable component for healing is a loving support system.
One day Jesus was confronted by a young man who was suffering terribly (Mark 9:14-29). He would roll on the ground in fits. He was impulsive and reckless. He attempted suicide several times, throwing himself into the fire. He was desperate for relief.
The disciples tried to help but were unable to make a difference. Jesus healed the boy. His disciples asked him why they couldn’t do what he did so easily. Jesus said — It’s not that easy. Sometimes it takes a much bigger effort on the part of those who love the boy.
Some problems take more time. The disciples had quit too soon.
Stop minding your own business
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Prov. 17:17).
As a professor there is nothing more rewarding than graduation day. I love to watch my students walk across the stage to the cheers of their family. I love to watch them flashing smiles at the camera surrounded by the people who helped them get there.
Family and friends are a joy in the happy moments of life. However, they are even more important in the painful moments of life. Their glad embrace in the joyful seems a small thing compared to their determined refusal to let go of the embrace in the painful.
Jesus never ran away from a person in pain. He was always willing to stop everything for the person who needed healing. He didn’t mind when other important matters had to be put on hold. He leaned into the pain. He made it his business to ask the hard questions. He refused to withhold his embrace.
Part of the education process is learning that the person suffering needs you to take the lead. They need you to embrace them and not let go. They may not have the emotional energy to confront the struggle. They may not want to do the excruciatingly hard work of healing. They may even tell you to “mind your own business.” Jesus never seemed to “mind his own business,” and when it comes to your loved one who is in mental or emotional pain, neither should you.
You have to “stop minding your own business.”
That phrase – stop minding your own business – is not my creation. I first heard it from Dallas lawyer Terry Bentley-Hill, who started an organization that focuses on educating the general public on mental health issues.
You can read her powerful story and learn more about her organization HERE.
James said, “… faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead” (James 2:17). Faith compels us to action. It drives us to do the hard thing. It forces us to lean into the pain.
Go hug someone who is struggling emotionally. Be a safe place for them to talk about their pain. No matter their state of mind, love them unconditionally by refusing to walk away.
Conclusion
Ashley Judd and her sister, Winona (who was a lifelong singing partner with her mother and was also being inducted into the Hall of Fame), showed up at the Country and Western Music Awards ceremony the day after their mother’s death. They accepted their mother’s induction into the Hall of Fame on her behalf.
Winona ended her brief speech by reading the 23rd Psalm and blowing a kiss heavenward to a thunderous standing ovation.
The two sisters were in obvious emotional pain. They didn’t try to hide it. They talked about their mother. They even laughed a little.
Side note: I have found humor at funerals to be incredibly healing.
These courageous sisters modeled for the world what it looks like to love, grieve, celebrate, and endure.
This insight was written by Dr. Ellis Orozco, the Public Theologian in Residence at Stark College & Seminary. Dr. Orozco served in ministry as a pastor for 30 years and is the founder and CEO of Karooso Ministries.
Visit Dr. Orozco’s Blog to read more.